GABRIEL AKHUETIE
U14MM1147
Dear girl,
First of all, (no! Don't go down low!). Listen to me... What is wrong with you? Do you mean to tell me that you don't see how much that guy- whom you take for granted simply because he is nice- is in love with you?
You go around bragging to your friends about how caring he is and how you can get him to do virtually anything for you without ever stopping to ask yourself why he'd even be so willing to do those things and so much more even when it is inconvenient for him.
He goes out of his way to please you and you take him for granted.
The other day, I saw a guy and a girl at Pepsi Garden. The guy bought a plate of rice with plantain, moi-moi, salad and chicken plus a chilled bottle of Mirinda for the girl and sat down to watch her eat. He must have told her he wasn't hungry- which would have been a perfect excuse for him to not buy anything for himself- but, just one look at the guy's face and how his eyes followed the spoon to her mouth uncontrollably as she eats, I didn't need a babalawo to tell me that the guy was hungry. In fact, he had "hungry" written all over him, from head to toe- I could see it from a mile away and I bet she could see it, smell it and feel it too- but the girl just totally ignored him and religiously devoured the food voraciously like she was on a battlefield.
On my way back home, as if to further confirm my analysis of the situation, I saw the same guy in front of Danfodio hostel, battling with a bowl of coco da kosai (pap & beans cake).
I know someone in Mass Comm who was practically being an angel to a girl in his class just to get her attention. This guy attends Sociology class beacuse of her, even though he didn't pick an elective in the course, he reads the materials and does her assignments. He was in class one day and noticed she wasn't. The lecturer strictly warned that nobody should write any name on the attendance sheet for anybody who is absent but guess what? Yea... You guessed it! That same day, my friend and I went to Social Centre to buy dinner and he wouldn't eat anything. He kept on talking about how she wasn't in school and how worried he was about it. So on our way back, he stopped to buy airtime and called her. He got upset after their brief conversation because, according to him, he didn't eat so he could use his last N200 to buy airtime to call her only for her to say she couldn't talk because she's in the middle of a fight with her boyfriend.
Guess what? We all know the boyfriend! Now that is the saddest part! This girl is in a relationship with a complete idiot who abuses her, cheats on her and takes her for granted while my friend is just there, killing himself day by day and she wouldn't even as much as blink an eye in his direction. Anyways, that's a story for another day.
Now, however funny these stories are, I'm sure you'd agree with me that these guys are not just simply being nice... I mean, there's a reason. And I don't think you need to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.
Most times, the girl who is in a relationship with the wrong guy who doesn't value her, has a guy in her life who is practically dying to be with her and would cherish and adore her if only she'll give him a chance. Yes, you may feel he is just being a good friend.... Ok. Wait... Let me take this time-out to categorically tell you girls one of the deepest open secrets guys hold dear. Listen ladies- and I speak for all the guys in the world- no guy would readily want to go out of his way to be nice to you because he wants to be just a friend. Trust me on this one... No guy!!! Oh Please, don't even try to argue! Now, as I was saying...
Most girls are usually attracted to the assh*le because he's the challenge- the one she must break, train and force to be more than the douchebag that he is while totally "friendzoning" the nice guy. It is so bad sometimes that when the boyfriend misbehaves and treats them badly, they quickly turn to the nice guy for advice. He is the one whose shoulders are available to lean on.
If I ask you why you wouldn't date and be in a relationship with the guy who is nice to you- and has probably asked you about a million times to be his girlfriend but got turned-down every time,- I'm sure your answer would be that you guys are so close and good together and a relationship would make it weird and ruin all of that. Hmmm... See mumu abeg! So if you guys have that much level of mutual understanding, what makes you think a relationship won't make it even better? But no... You'd rather channel all your energy into forcing a horse that wouldn't drink water to a stream and cry your eyes out profusely when it eventually doesn't drink. (Mind you, I am not talking about a real horse!).
I am not saying a girl must agree to date every guy who is nice to her. I have not said for you to dump your boyfriend and end your relationship because you had issues and then move on to the nice guy (every relationship must have one issue and challenge or another... That's normal). What I'm saying is, why settle for a boring plate of rice and watery stew when you can have fried rice with chicken, garnished with some very nicely made salad and kpomo on the side. (Mind you, again, I'm not talking about real rice! Ok?).
He may have loved you too soon and it probably was a bit scary and crazy and maybe too much but guys like that don't happen everyday.
Your's sincerely,
The guy who is concerned about the nice guy!
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